You ever had someone complement you and it made you feel sick. Not sick like “you might throw up on them at any moment” sick but like hit you in the gut with a twelve pound bowling ball sick? If your answer was yes then you will understand my day.
Let me set the stage for you. I was a a bi-weekly meeting for a group that I am a part of. A group that on quite a few occasions happens to call me on my BS without even knowing it and this time was no exception except for how hard it hit. So one of the ladies was talking about procrastinating a lot and how time management is a challenge for her. That was when my mouth opened and without thinking or the other peoples knowledge my foot hopped right into it.
See it’s not that I was giving bad advice or talking out the side of my neck as a friend used to say (in other words talking crazy) and it’s not like I haven’t studied time management or use to work for a major planner and time management company. I have done these things and I knew that I was giving great advice and tools that could really help her. No, the Miley Cyrus wrecking ball moment came after when another member complimented me by telling how good I was at goal planning. Again while this is true, did I not just open up about my planner woes? She could have run me a salt bath and thrown me in and it wouldn’t have stung as much.
Talk about being called out. I should have stood up right then and said, “my name is Tiffany and I too am a procrastinator”. I should have acknowledged my own struggles and why I have pushed to understand time management so hard but no I sat there feeling like I had just swam through a mud wrestlers practice ring and couldn’t find a shower. It plagued me for the rest of the day. Sure I tried putting it out of my head and going on with my day. I tried to be productive. However, I found myself later that night on a Netflix binge and telling myself I could finish my work tomorrow. I fell back into my own personal ring of fire.
Why do we do that? Why do we let one comment take us down? Why don’t we speak up and share our own struggles? I know personally that whenever I have shared from the heart or the crazy parts of my life I have gotten more praise and connectivity then when I have tried to act like everything is alright. I always speak about how as a society the only thing we love more than watching a public figure fall is watching them get back up. The Phoenix rising from the ashes syndrome I like to call it. It tells us that if they can change and come back so can we.
Not to mention, that I know for myself I learn more about myself when I struggle than when everything is going great. Usually when things are going great I tend to coast and punish aside some of the lessons I learned before when they weren’t so good. That is why we share the good and the bad. It doesn’t help anyone to always act like you have everything together. Who wants advice from someone that has never had a bad day their entire life. We need real people to say “look it’s hard but I did it and you can too”. Chances are that in that moment I could have helped more by admitting that I still struggle with procrastination and that lately I have been cracking open a pint of Ben and Jerry’s when I look at my goals that I set at the beginning of the year because I feel so far behind. Yet I keep pushing and when I have a day where my butt glues itself to the couch I just work harder the next. Those are the real moments that help. That is the advice that needs to be told and the lessons that should be shared.
So next time you or I find ourselves in a moment where we have a choice of sharing what sounds good and what really speaks to the heart of a person I hope we both speak from the heart. That we share our triumphs but more importantly our struggles. Let us all rise from the ashes together.
Have you ever found yourself in a similar position? Which route did you take? Let’s keep the conversation going below by leaving a comment.